Electric Blogs

Where did my libido go?


The world of dating when you have a seizure disorder can be ummm, well slightly weird, embarrassing, soul destroying, confronting, a blessing, messy, unpredictable, dangerous, infact this whole blog could be written on words to describe this experience but I’ve got more to say about the world of dating and sex so I’m going  to leave it there.

Let’s face it, sex and one night stands can be awkward at the best of times even for “normal” people but when you are trying to be sexy, alluring and seductive and instead of twerking you start convulsing, it’s probably safe to say that it may not end with them asking you to stay the night and cuddle and I can say this from experience very confidently.

It’s a tricky situation and a bit of a catch 22 but when I meet someone for the first time, I intrinsically know in the back of my mind (and the front of my vagina) that I may never see this person again so occasionally I might stand tall in my thoughts that “Tonight, I just want to have a night of fun and frivolity with no strings attached”

Nothing wrong with that, it’s just surrendering to my animal instincts.  No need to mention the odd seizure that may occur in the mornings because this hot shag may not even stay so…..it’s settled, my secret will stay hidden deep inside with my IUD.

I’m just going to put it out there and say it….”There is nothing sexy about having Epilepsy” In fact most, if not all the anti-convulsant medications they have on the pharmaceutical market play havoc with your sex drive and libido as they are designed to keep you on an even keel, no highs and lows. This is a GIANT bummer as let’s face it, with the right person you can get pretty high during a love making session so to be brought down by meds just seems like a rip off to me!

I would never have thought to tell them I had Epilepsy when I met them as the last thing I wanted to do was be brought back to my own inadequacies when I was trying to access my inner Marilyn Monroe! I have had both sides of the coin in my love making /shag fest history. I had one night stands and didn’t tell them and they ran out the door as soon as I came back to consciousness and I’ve also had lovers that did know and were there to stroke my head during and after it.

I am single at the moment and I spent the night with a guy recently and didn’t tell him of my condition whilst we were on our date. One thing led to another, meal was eaten, dirty martinis were drunk and the chemistry was flowing and so he ended up back at my place. At 5am in the morning I woke up very anxious as I wasn’t sure he knew what to do if I ended up malfunctioning. I just wanted him to know what to do in case he didn’t, so instead of waking him up and having a sexy morning shag, I woke him up and we had a very unsexy and honest chat about what to do in the event that I had a Grand Mal seizure. It made me more relieved to be honest and he was pretty happy that he knew what to do.

I guess I have come a long way as even though I still don’t know how and when to approach the issue with a potential lover, I know now that it needs to be addressed before I get naked under the covers so that the person knows what to do. Turn me on my side, remove objects of harm from out of the way and put something soft under my face. It also informs them that time will pass and so will the seizure and as long as the person is safe, there is not much else you can do except sing, smile and try to not attach to what you are visually witnessing. After all, it’s just a brain reconnecting.

Love Lainie

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